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Obama: Great News Anchor Potential

Posted by Joseph Lopez on Thursday, March 05, 2009 5:00:00 PM

Weh-heh-hell!

So, turns out your "great orator" - the "greatest political speaker of all time," and the "tingle crawling up [your] leg" - is nothing more than a facade.

Again I say, weh-heh-hell!

Out this afternoon by political blog Politico, it turns out President Barack Obama uses a TelePrompter for nearly every speech he gives in public.

Wehhhhh-hehhhh-helllllll!

"...no other president has used one so consistently and at so many events, large and small," Politico writer Carol Lee wrote.
You ever wonder why nearly all photos of the Messiah (hallelujah!) giving a speech show Mr. O facing to the left or to the right? It's because those are the only two directions in which he turns his earlobe-engulfed head!

He can't face you directly without being thrown off his delivery of another "award-winning" speech.
Any speech given sans TelePrompter causes the King to use the words "uh" and "um" more than a speed-texting, Jonas Brothers-stalking teenage girl.

But hey, look at the brightside: if this whole Presidential gig doesn't work out well, 'Bamarama has a great future as a television news anchor.
News anchors look like epileptic monkeys without TelePrompters and they don't write the script. Same goes for President Oh-Bama - he's a deer in headlights when a TelePrompter fails and he doesn't write any of his speeches.


...wait, so what is our President doing anyway?

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Freedom of Speech, or Assault?

Posted by Joseph Lopez on Sunday, December 14, 2008 9:20:00 PM
Bush, in a surprise visit to Iraq, was the victim of an impromptu dodgeball game with an Iraqi "reporter" during a press meeting this weekend.
In the cowardly attack, the man threw both of his shoes at Bush, with Bush ducking and moving quite gracefully.
Iraqi police are holding the man, but he, along with his employer (Iraqi news agency based in Egypt) are demanding he be released if Iraq is soooo for democracy and freedom of speech.

 
Hey, douchebag, Bush gave you and the Iraqi's the democracy and freedom of speech you abuse and care so little for.
And this isn't freedom of speech - this is attempted assault, to the President of the United States no less.
Freedom of speech is calling you a cheap, cowardly little piece of garbage who should be hanged by your bare feet.
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